you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
