I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize