just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
