This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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