I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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