I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
