tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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