today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Everyone says I win the strip club
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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