just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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