dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
