it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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