That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
