Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
