What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
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at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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