Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
