So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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