even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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