Where is the hickey?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
