Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
