i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
So squirting runs in the family.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize