Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
