come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
