At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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