I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
the condom got lost in my hair
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
