Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
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i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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