I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
