**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
