YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
