i'm signing you up for texting rehab
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Randomize
