WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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