I wanna passion pit in your ass
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
