i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
