This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
