Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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