and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
