he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My dick has a subreddit
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize