ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize