i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
