I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
