When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
