There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize