i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
this must be what syphilis tastes like
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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