i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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