dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize