Welp...herpes.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I need a burrito and a hug.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
