I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
