I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
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Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
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He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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