No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
