you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?