'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.