I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
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I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
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Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
well, you know. whores of a feather.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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