you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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