We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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