JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You ate ashes out of my bong
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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