So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
