Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
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I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
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UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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