I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
