Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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