i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
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