yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
