Barsexuality is the new black.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
