so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
barbara walters just said penis...
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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