Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
