who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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