I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
