Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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