So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize