Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
