I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
