I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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